Your unconditional love, never-ending faithfulness & streams of mercy are like a blanket that covers over me.
You are the kite-holder & I am the kite.
You restrain me from flying into the wild by my own naivety with a taut rope of love.
You hold me close like a father & his newborn son so I do not bring myself harm from the unknown.
You direct my very steps.
My heart of Adam says ‘take’ when You say ‘give’.
It whispers ‘go’ when You impress upon my heart to brake.
Your Word tells me to serve others, & yet my sinful ways urge me to serve myself.
I’m backwards, God. I’m upside down.
I’m a house built upon sand without You as the center.
I’m all screwed up.
I’m feigning for more than a surgery or medical operation;
I’m in desperate need of spiritual rehabilitation.
I’m an impatient rebel who insists on being brought to full restoration.
Truth is, it hurts to acknowledge my own self-deprivation.
It’s a slash of the cutlass to my pride to glance into the mirror,
& confess my incompetence to clean up my act.
It’s a difficult pill to swallow that my hell-bound condition requires a Savior.
If I had it my way, my ego would not choose to elevate someone over me;
there’d be no room for Ryan and subordination in the same equation.
But my life doesn’t revolve around the capacity to boast; it is in a constant orbit around You.
My life is a blip with full concentration on love
& love is not proud, nor does it demand its own way.
I am a colorless, odorless and useless pawn in the grand scheme of chess while You are my King.
I retain this ‘out of service’ status until I let you make me Alive from the inside out.
You polish the dust & wood that forms me like Pinnochio in the workshop.
While others assign me a valueless price tag, my Craftsman retorts,
“He is not for sale. No cost does justice to what I have designed”.
This life is grueling enough as it is;
why beat around the bush & experience life alone without meaning
when that bush is burning with truth & purpose.
That bush is my friend and His name is Jesus.